Your First 60 Seconds With A Woman
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This week I want to talk about one of the most critical times when meeting a woman... it's the first 60 seconds.
Besides the obvious point that you want to make the right first impression, there are a few things that happen (or don't happen) which most guys either overlook or never realize.
If you understand the dynamics of the first 60 seconds or meeting a new women, it will REALLY help you take the relationship to the next level.
Probably the most important thing to realize is that even though the first 60 seconds may sometimes seem awkward, YOU MUST KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING!
Here's why: Whenever you meet someone new, they were thinking about or doing something else before you started talking to them.
When you start the new conversation, it often takes a little while for the woman that you've just met to relax and start opening up.
She has to "shift gears", so to speak.
Most guys make the mistake of thinking that a woman isn't interested if she doesn't start smiling and laughing immediately. They give up if a woman looks even a little bit shy or uncomfortable.
DON'T DO THAT!
Stick with it. Keep talking. If you've read my other newsletters and my book "Double Your Dating" you know that I love to use sarcastic, Cocky & Funny humor.
This is a great time to comment on what is happening around you to break the ice and make her smile.
A few years ago when I started getting good at meeting women and getting phone numbers, I started to notice a really interesting pattern.
At first, most of the women that I would talk to would seem kind of shy and reserved...but as I talked to them for a few minutes, they would become more interesting and comfortable.
Now, before I knew better, I would just take this shy or reserved response to mean "I'm not interested" and I'd give up before I even got started...
I shake my head when I think about all of the opportunities that I missed just because I "misread" these situations.
Often, a woman will look uninterested even if she IS interested. The fact is that a lot of times, the woman that you're talking to doesn't know how to act or respond to you...
Even if you're talking to an attractive woman who obviously gets approached by a lot of men, this reserved response is usually just a standard way of filtering those men who are PERSISTENT from those that aren't.
Women like assertive men.
If a simple, easy test called "stay cool for a minute or two" can separate the Wussy men from the assertive, persistent, ATTRACTIVE ones, you can bet your last dollar that a lot of women will use it.
Another possibility is that you're not her ideal "physical type" and she's going to need to get to know you a little bit better in order to warm up to you. You may have to actually show her that you're interesting.
Are you with me?
You have to realize that probably half the time, a "cold" reception does NOT mean that she wants you to go away. It just means "Tell me more... open me up... make me interested in you."
Another common situation is that the woman you're talking to just naturally likes to play "hard to get."
This is a actually more common than most men think, in my opinion. Women know that if they play hard to get, men will do more, try harder, and offer more in exchange for their attention.
One thing I like to do to take a new conversation to the next level is to comment on or ask a question about how she's acting when I first meet her. Let's say that I'm in a mall shopping, and I'm talking to a sales woman at a store. I might say "So how's your day going?"
If she says "fine" but has a blank look on her face I might say "Fine, huh? That sounds like about a 5 on a scale of 1-10."
This usually gets a laugh, and she might say "Yea, well it's been a long day, and I want to go home..."
Even though it sounds simple, this one comment kind of takes the conversation to the next level, and helps get past that "surface conversation" that always happens.
Finally, if you've been talking to a woman for a few minutes, and you're still getting no signs of life, it's always good to say "Hey, do you have email?" and if she say's "yes" then have her give it to you.
She might just be in a bad mood, and she might just love a little note later that says "Hey, it was nice talking to you... you seemed like you might have been busy today, but email me and maybe I'll have some time this week and you can join me for a cup of coffee and some good conversation."
If she doesn't respond to that email, send her another one two days later that says "Hey, are you playing hard to get already? You sure don't waste any time...".
It never hurts to be persistent.
And there's no more important time to be persistent than the first 60 seconds of a new conversation with a woman.
Do it. Your success with women will skyrocket.
Another thought:
Sometimes you have to do things that don't seem to "make sense" in order to make and keep a woman attracted to you... and ultimately give a woman what she REALLY wants.
I've spent the last few years taking what I've learned about how to be successful with women and dating, and distilled the process of ATTRACTION down to a few keys. I've also done something that I'm very excited about... I've figured out how to do the things that make women feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION...
It all starts with understanding the basic principles like the one I've just discussed, the origin and evolution of ATTRACTION, the beliefs and values of "naturally" successful guys, and, of course, the specific techniques and strategies to use in different situations to do things like approach women, get numbers, get dates, and take things to a physical level...
And where is the best place to learn all of these things, from the foundation to the specific techniques for how to be successful with women and dating?
My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Series, of course.
Inside, I explain MANY different concepts and theories to help you understand the things that most men will never "get" about meeting women.
And I'll show you literally HUNDREDS of ideas and techniques for every type of situation with women.
I believe that it is the most complete system available for improving your success with women...
check out free audio and video samples here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/advancedseries
...and if you haven't downloaded my original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that now. It's the basic foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters, and it's an absolute must-read. Read samples and download it here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
David D.
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Copyright 2003 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. Double Your Dating and David DeAngelo are trademarks of David DeAngelo Communications Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold David DeAngelo Communications Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of 18, please click the link at the end of this e-letter to stop receiving it.
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