Hey fellas
now here it comes
Type your COCKY & FUNNY lines here in
(other PICKUP LINES are also welcome, ofcourse ;)
and !!RENAME!! the ver.nr. behind the file
to a !new version number!.
If you dont add something to the file, DON'T RENAME ANYTHING,
just leave THE NEWEST FILE (version number) you can find
in your share and !DELETE THE OLDER ONES!.
ALWAYS TYPE YOUR STUFF ONLY TO THE !NEWEST VERSION FILE! YOU CAN FIND HERE.
P.s. allways put the file on RELEASE status so it can spread very good.
Add the "########" Line
the NEW "vers. nr." (v1.1... v1.25... v1.39...)
the "PLACE"
a "DESCRIPTION" (if needed)
and "THE LINE"
if you want "YOUR INITIALS" or "NAME"
please use the following form of doing this:
############################################################################
v1.01
baker's shop (or any other Shop or store)
allways ask what does this cost and then say
"DAMN THATS VERY EXPENSIVE!!! "
ofcourse in a OVERLY SARCASTIC and DRAMATIC way,
dont know why, but the Girls allways start to giggle at this moment and love this,
then you can ask what hers favorite and then buy the complete opposite of what she said *gg, thats great (if you make the whole thing in a funny way.
by MCM
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v1.02
Hair stylist
say to your hair stylist at any point if she washes your hair or something
"DAMN your Hands are ICE COLD !!!" at this point she always start to complain
"NOO THEY ARE NOT COLD BLA BLA BLA ..."
then you just GRAB her Hand look her in the eyes (smile lightley) and say
"Ofcourse they are!"
"i hope i'll get some discount for this..."
and grin (;
by John from Georgia
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v1.03
DAVID DEANGELO OPENERS
======================
You: Hey, can I ask you a question?
She: Sure!
You: Are you single?
She: Why?
You: Well, I know someone who I think would REALLY find you attractive. He's nice,
funny, interesting... and I think you might like him. (smile in a knowing way) - Do you have email?
-----------
You: Hey, can I ask you a quick question?
She: Sure!
You: Are you single?
She: Why?
You: Well I know someone who I think would REALLY like you and if you're single
then you should consider having coffee with him. (smile in a knowing way)
-----------
YOU: "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?" [leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool and slow]
HER: "Sure"
YOU" [pause pause pause for suspense] Are you single? [stone cold straight face]
HER: Well, um...
YOU: I'll take that as a yes... [nodding, sly smile]
HER: [Laugher]
YOU: Well, I just happen to know someone that I think might really like you...
if you're more than just a pretty face, that is... He's funny, has great taste,
and I think you'd like him... I'd love to sit down and get your life story,
but I'm on my way somewhere... do you have email? [very cool, calm tone of voice]
HER: Yes.
YOU: Great... [takes out pen]... write it down for me, and I'll have, uh [clears throat]
HIM send you an email." [Get email and wish the lady a good day.]
-----------
You: Hi there, you're cuter than the average woman that I see in the produce section... are you friendly?
Her: Ha ha... well, sometimes.
You: So, are you shopping for a special occasion, or is this just a routine produce visit?
Her: No, just here for some fruit.
You: Nice. Are you from the area?
Her: Yea.
You: Are you from here originally?
Her: Born and raised.
You: Well, it was nice meeting you... and enjoy your mango...
Her: Thanks.
You: Hey... do you have email?
-----------
You (to girl behind counter during line-up in coffee shop): Hey, since you like me
and this line is always long, how about if I just walk to the front from
now on and you give me free coffee?
-----------
You: Hi You know, I realize you are probably shy because you get no attention
from men whatsoever So I thought I'd come over and pay some attention to you.
-----------
You: Hi, you are [wait 1 sec] really [wait 3 sec & look her in the eyes] beautiful
-----------
You: What's with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?
-----------
[in a club] You: I'm sure that every drunk dumbass and his 9 friends have been bothering you,
but I just wanted to say that you're fantastically beautiful and I wanted to find out
what you are like.
-----------
You: I know that every drunk idiot has been bothering you, but I think you are
( wait 2 sec while looking her right in the eyes) beautiful so I wanted
to find out what you were like
-----------
You: You know what they say about women who [DON'T TELL THEM! Just look at them in a knowing way.]
-----------
You:
-----------
You (as you hand the cash to cashier): So how much of this cash do you get to keep?
She: None I wish.
You: Oh, I figured you were pocketing 10 or 20% I assumed you were rich and could
support me, but now I am not interested I want a rich girl. (Turn up your nose.)
-----------
You (after opening and talking a bit): You know, there's a great coffees shop
around the corner, would you like to join me for a cup of something delicious
and some stimulating conversation?
-----------
You're beautiful... can I have your autograph?
-----------
You: How old are you?
She: X
You: Well normally I would need to get my parents' permission to go out with older girls above X-3
-----------
Hi, I'm out meeting people tonight, what's your name?
-----------
You (to n-set): You have that look in your face Are you male-bashing?
-----------
(Pick up your drink, walk over to the table, think of the funniest moment of your life
so you have a smile on your face, and say) "What, are you girls shy or something?"
Girls: NO, why?
You: Because I've been sitting at the next table for at least a half hour and you
haven't come over to say hi to me!
-----------
You know, there's a great coffee shop around the corner, would you like to join me
for a cup of something delicious and some stimulating conversation?
-----------
You: Are you rich/famous?
She:
You: You know, this relationship is not going to work out I am breaking up with you!
She: Bla bla We are not even going out.
You: That's just one more reason to end it.
-----------
Excuse me, can I ask you a question? I'm trying to overcome my shyness, and it's my goal to
ask five women today what it takes for them to feel attracted to a man. Do you prefer it when
guys try to BUY your attention with gifts and food, or do you prefer it when a guy teases you,
makes fun, makes you laugh, and keeps you guessing about what's going to come next?
-----------
(to girl who is about to leave): Hi, I was going to come talk to you earlier but I got busy...
what's your name? Do you have email?
-----------
(confident, calm body language) Hi... you look like someone I want to meet.
WAITRESSES / SALES CLERKS / CASHIERS
====================================
You (to girl behind counter during line-up in coffee shop): Hey, since you like me and
this line is always long, how about if I just walk to the front from now on and you
give me free coffee?
-----------
Waitress: /we don't have it
You: Could we get a new waitress please? I'm afraid you're just not going to work out tonight
You: What, you're out of the special?!
-----------
Waitress
You: Let me see that [notepad] for a moment Interesting. Your handwriting says a lot about you.
-----------
Waitress: Just one?
You: Yes Unless, of course, you are planning to join me.
Waitress: bla blab la work
You: Yea, well, quit your job then join me. I am more fun than work anyway.
-----------
You (after some flirting with waitress): What do you thinks the best thing is on the menu?
Waitress:
You: Well, if your taste in food is even half as good as your taste in men, then it must be damn good.
OR
You: Well, I just wanted to know what to avoid...so I'll make sure to NOT order that.
-----------
You (as you hand the cash to cashier): So how much of this cash do you get to keep?
She: None I wish.
You: Oh, I figured you were pocketing 10 or 20% I assumed you were rich and could support me,
but now I am not interested I want a rich girl. (Turn up your nose.)
-----------
(store, to sales girl) You are so lucky to be working indoors, it is so hot outside.
Her: Yeah
You: I just moved here to recently and still can't get over how hot it is.
Her: Where from?
You: Is it always this hot?
Her:
You: How long have you lived here? Where are you from? Etc.
Her:
You: How is the club scene / night life here?
Her:
You: Let me get your phone number and maybe you can show me around sometime
-----------
You (to girl behind coffee counter): Let me guess ... You got up at 4:25 in the morning.
-----------
You (after coming back to restaurant and asking for waitress by name): I'm not sure if you
remember me or not but I was here the other day with my friend.
She: Yeah, I remember you.
You: Well, I'm going to take up much of your time. I realize you're on duty right now
and on staff, so I just want to get your phone number.
MYSTERY'S ELVIS OPENER
======================
You: Hey ... did you know ... that Elvis DIED
Her: yes.
You: ... his HAIR?
Her: no.
You: Guess what color his actual hair was?
Her: I donno, blond?
You: Close. DIRTY blond. Isn't that sorta fucked up
Her: yeah.
You: I mean, can you actually imagine Elvis Pelvis as a Beach Boy blond? Here's my thought though ...
do you think that he would have become FAMOUS as a blond?
Her: I donno.
You: See, I don't think so. If he didn't die his hair, its quite likely he would never have looked
BADBOY enough and get all the girls to swoon. Yeah, I can see it in your eyes haa - you
like badboys just like the rest of em ... but don't expect me to dye my hair for you! :P
-----------
There's a second part if I want to add to it.
You: Elvis' wife Pricilla Presley also dyed her hair. Oh don't ask me what her real hair color was,
Im not Cliff Claven (from Cheers) but ... can you picture these two dying their heads together
over their pure gold sink every two weeks ... in some sick ceremonial ritual to appeal to the masses?
Haa. How fucking badboy is THAT?!!! Well, that's my thought for the day.
E-MAILING HER
=============
Hey, it was nice meeting you last night what are you up to this week?
Would you like to join me for a cup of something wonderful and some stimulating conversation?\
Talk to me.
If they don't answer that one, I write back a couple of days later
"What, playing hard to get already? Nice. Talk to me."
I get most of them emailing me back by this point. When they do,
I say "What's your # and when's a good time to reach you?"
-----------
I know you're scared of meeting such an intelligent charismatic rockstar like myself,
because you'll fall so hopelessly in love you couldn't take the rejection,
fall into habitual drinking, and eventually kill yourself... but really its okay
I'll treat you like an ass and you'll hate me, and life will go on
-----------
(to waitress) Hey, I was just checking back with you... I wanted to know how much you made last night.
It didn't look like you were making much money by standing around talking to me, and if you wound up coming
home with no tips, then you're not going to be able to take me out for a drink and keep me surrounded
by the type of lifestyle that I've become accustomed to...
-----------
It was fun talking to you last night. You sound like you might be more than just a pretty face
(which is refreshing). Let's get together this week for a cup of something delicious and some
stimulating conversation. I'm thinking Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday early evening. Let me know...
-----------
It's John. We met at <> the other night. Well I should tell you something.
I'm not the guy that your mother always warned you about but she should have.
If you think you can handle a guy who plays chess with a vegetable, let's meet for a cup of tea.
-----------
[If girl was a bit reserved but still gave e-mail address] Hey, it was nice talking to you...
You seemed like you might have been busy today, but email me and maybe I'll have some time this week
and you can join me for a cup of coffee and some good conversation.
-----------
David DeAngelo: I personally email the next day. I'll start with a charming email to get the
conversation started, then tell her that I'm going to call in a day or two. This has the effect
of making contact with her relatively quickly, but still creating anticipation because you
haven't actually talked.
RESPONDING TO PERSONALS
=======================
DD's response to women's personals
Well, you sound like you might be more than just another pretty face. Something tells me
that you're probably getting about 50 emails a day from loser guys saying things like
"Hi, I'm freshly divorced from my seventh wife, have 5 delinquent kids... but the good news
is that I have a good chance at finally getting a job..." etc.
In any event, I'm 28, have my life together, and I'm more than the usual
amount of interesting and funny, so you'd better like to laugh. You sound
like you might make an interesting friend, so let's get together for a cup of
something delicious and some interesting conversation... if you think you can
handle it, that is!
-----------
Hey, I don't think that this picture is really you. What, did you go to the mall and
get one of those Glamour Shots done or something? Do you have a real picture?
Like you at home on your stairmaster or something? Or do you even work out?
OK, stop trying to fool all of us guys, and let's see what you REALLY look like...
-----------
I was looking through all these ads here on the internet thinking to myself
"Look at all the poor, desperate, lonely women..." and then I saw your ad and
thought to myself "Hey, here's a poor, desperate, lonely woman that's actually CUTE..."
so I thought I'd write and see if you're as interesting on the inside as you are in this picture...
###########################################################################
v1.04
Any store
Turn to the hot chick behind you and go 'are you following me?'.
###########################################################################
v1.05
From Chapter 9 of "Comedy Writing Secrets", which worked wonders for me:
Some single words are funnier than others. Just by changing one word in a sentence you can improve your overall funniness dramatically. Just look at that sentence from v1.03: "Do you have a real picture? Like you at home on your stairmaster or something?" - Stairmaster sounds hilariously funny, the whole sentence would become boring if you exchanged it with "couch" or something like that.
Especially words with a 'K' in them usually sound funnier than words with a similar meaning. Examples: Alka Seltzer, cookie, Cleveland, Buick, candy, cozy, kitten.
More funny words:
(Names of Ethnic Groups) Mendel, Bernie, Shirley, Percy, Humphrey, Reginald, Guido, Guiseppe, Margarita, Pablo, JosSuzette, Pepe, Francois, Pop, Doc, Bunny, Trixy, Champ, Spike, Biffy
(Foods) pea, jelly bean, fruitcake, macadamia nuts, prune, noodles, chopped liver, shrimp, meatballs, shrimp
(Brand names) Jell-O, Whopper, Popsicle, Crazy Glue, Preparation H, Winnebago, Tidy Bowl, Moxie
There are way more examples in the book, it's worth its money. Also make your own list of funny words and use them whenever you can, especially in cold approaches. It's an almost-sure way to get a laugh right at the beginning so you can be way more confident.
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